Dating in 2025 is a curious mix of swipe culture, shifting gender roles, and the occasional nod to old-school romance. At The Matchmaker UK, we often hear questions like, “Should he still pay on the first date?” or “Is it okay for me to message first?” And the truth is — the dating landscape has changed, but some traditions still linger.
So, what are the rules now? And are we still expected to follow them?
Let’s take a look at how things used to be, where we are now, and what the current dating climate in the UK says about how we show up for love today.
Once Upon a Time… Dating Had Rules
In the not-so-distant past, dating came with a clear set of expectations:
Who makes the first move?
Traditionally, it was the man’s role to initiate contact — whether that meant striking up a conversation in a bar or making the first call (or text).
Who picks up the bill?
It was a given that the man would pay on the first date, viewed as a gesture of chivalry and a way to show he was serious — and capable.
These roles reflected the social norms of the time — when gender dynamics were more defined and rarely questioned.
Today’s Reality: A New Dating Playbook
In 2025, dating etiquette is more fluid — and with it comes more room for confusion:
Messaging First
Research from the Oxford Internet Institute and eHarmony shows that men are still more likely to message first on dating apps. However, women who do take the lead can experience slightly lower response rates — a statistic that shows we might not be as progressive as we think.
Who Pays?
A YouGov survey revealed that while 74% of men in the UK wouldn’t be offended if their date didn’t offer to contribute, only 17% of women felt okay with paying the full bill themselves. So, although there’s more openness to splitting costs, some traditional expectations clearly still linger — especially on the first date.
So, are the roles changing? Yes. But are we ready to fully let go of tradition? Not quite.
UK Dating Trends: What Each Generation Thinks
The UK’s dating scene is diverse — and our attitudes often differ by age.
Gen Z & Millennials
Younger daters are much more comfortable with equality in dating. Splitting the bill is normal, and discussing financial matters early on (sometimes within the first three dates) is becoming standard. Gender roles aren’t a major factor — emotional connection and shared values take priority.
Gen X & Boomers
Older daters, especially those re-entering the dating world after divorce or long-term relationships, tend to prefer more traditional courtship. A man paying for dinner or making the first move isn’t just expected — it’s considered romantic. That said, many are also adapting and open to modern approaches, especially as online dating becomes more common for their age group.
The Cost of Dating
Across generations, cost plays a growing role. With first dates in the UK ranging anywhere from £30 to over £100, many people are more conscious of how much dating really costs. Transparency and shared expectations are becoming essential.
So… Should We Still Be Traditional?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Some people find comfort and clarity in traditional roles, while others feel empowered by a more balanced approach. The important thing is understanding what you value — and finding someone who’s on the same page.
In many cases, communication beats convention. If you’re comfortable messaging first or splitting the bill — go for it. If you’d prefer a traditional approach, that’s perfectly okay too. The key is mutual respect and clarity from the start.
How The Matchmaker UK Can Help
At The Matchmaker UK, we guide our clients through the complexities of modern dating with empathy, clarity, and a human touch. Here’s how we can support you:
Personalised Coaching
We help you uncover your own dating values and communicate them with confidence — whether you lean traditional, modern, or somewhere in between.
Tailored Matchmaking
We match you based on shared values — not just surface-level preferences — so you’re more likely to meet someone who understands your expectations around dating roles.
Final Thoughts
Modern dating doesn’t come with a rulebook — but it does require self-awareness, communication, and a bit of courage. Whether you’re someone who prefers traditional gestures or believes in a fully equal approach, The Matchmaker UK is here to help you date with purpose and confidence.
Love might look different in 2025 — but that’s not a bad thing. The key is figuring out what works for you.