At The Matchmaker UK, we understand how exciting the dating world can be. Yet, safety should always be your top priority when venturing into new relationships. David Delew OBE MSyl, the UK’s leading security consultant, brings over 30 years of experience dedicated to protecting communities, working alongside the Police and community leaders. As the former head of a leading security organisation, his expertise in personal safety is second to none, earning him an OBE for his contributions to public safety. His invaluable insights offer a trusted guide to navigating dating and everyday life securely.
First Dates: Safety First
Meeting someone new can be thrilling, but it’s crucial to ensure that your initial encounters take place in a safe and comfortable environment. Delew advises choosing a public, well-lit venue, like a busy restaurant or café, for your first date. Avoid secluded spots, and always inform a trusted friend or family member about your whereabouts. You can even share your live location through apps like “Find My” (for iPhone) or “Google Maps” (for Android).
Having a travel plan is equally essential. “Arrange your own transport to and from the date,” suggests Delew, adding that relying on your date for a ride home too early on might compromise your safety.
And perhaps most importantly, trust your instincts. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to leave. It’s better to exit a situation early than to regret it later.
Public Transport and Walking Home
After your date, if you’re using public transportation or walking home, it’s wise to have a plan. Delew stresses the importance of staying aware of your surroundings, especially in less secure areas. Avoid distractions such as using your phone and steer clear of isolated or dark areas.
“Project confidence,” Delew emphasises, “and if you feel uncomfortable, move to a busier area, or scream for help if you sense immediate danger.” Consider carrying a personal safety alarm, and always keep your phone fully charged and ready for emergencies.
Navigating Online Dating Safely
Online dating has become the go-to way for many to meet potential partners, but it’s not without its risks. Delew advises taking time to verify the identities of people you connect with online. Before meeting in person, perform some basic online research or use a verified dating app to learn more about them.
Keep personal information like your address or workplace private until you’re confident about the individual. And always communicate via in-app messaging systems initially, as they offer an extra layer of security. As Delew warns, “beware of anyone asking for money or unusual favors; scammers often target those looking for romance.”
Staying Safe at Home
Whether or not you’ve invited someone over, home safety is paramount. Always keep your doors and windows locked and consider installing security systems or motion-sensing lights. Pets can also be great indicators of character—watch how they react to new people. Delew also recommends varying your routines and avoiding real-time social media check-ins to keep your whereabouts private.
Recognising Unhealthy Behaviour Early
Meeting new people means navigating the possibility of encountering liars, cheats, or manipulators. Delew notes that inconsistencies in someone’s stories, manipulative behaviours like gaslighting, or someone who seems “too good to be true” are red flags. Trust your gut, and don’t dismiss these warning signs.
On a positive note, learning to read body language can help you gauge genuine interest. Maintained eye contact, leaning in while speaking, and open body language often indicate authentic engagement. Conversely, closed-off postures and distracted behaviour may signal disinterest.
By following these tips from David Delew OBE MSyl, a UK security consultant, you can make informed decisions, prioritise your personal safety, and ensure that your dating experience remains positive and secure. At The Matchmaker UK, we believe that your well-being is key to building healthy and happy relationships. Trust your instincts, stay alert, and most importantly—always prioritise your safety.